Untethered

I've never held Mira without cords attached. And it's not something I focus on or need a pity party about. But when I was told that she might have to go home on oxygen, it gave me pause. We have tried to ween her off oxygen twice and it just didn't go well.

And all the cords have been necessary. It's what's kept us in the know about how things are working on the inside of her precious little body. So I am up for doing whatever she needs to have done but I couldn't help be a little selfish about not wanting that thing in particular.

As a mom, you probably lay your baby down, change diapers and clothes without making special concessions not to snap her heart monitor lead or oxygen cord inside her jumper. Or once you've changed that diaper, you pick the baby up and carry them to the kitchen in your arms while making their bottle. That's not been our reality thus far and, if we go home with oxygen, it won't likely be our reality for many months.

So I prayed. Not too hard and really only asked God once to not let that happen. To please make Mira strong enough to ween off oxygen before we discharge. Because, much like everything else with Mira, there's what I want and there's what God has already done. And my way to cope these days is just to go with the flow. If she needs oxygen, she needs oxygen, we can make that work.

Well, looks like I might have said that prayer within earshot of Mira. Last week, she had surgery to fix hernias in her groin area. One of the nurses causally mentioned that sometimes babies have trouble breathing when they have hernias because inhaling too deeply is painful. It felt like an epiphany but we would see the next day when they took her off the oxygen. They took off her oxygen and one hour without it turned into two turned into 12 turned into 48.

We are now four days out and she's still breathing on her own like a BOSS. If all continues to go well, it looks like I might be able to experience life with Mira untethered. For some, that might seem like a simple request. For me, it means everything. 

Thanks for your support and prayers (and so sorry for the delay with this post).

Mira is all smiles after she had her first meal post-surgery. She was realllll H-ANGRY before this picture.

Mira a few hours after they removed her oxygen...sleeping like an angel.